UPDATE: Possible Homosex-planation!

Recently, one of the other Barluga bartenders was having her leaving party at (and sponsored by) the bar. Garth also had a couple people doing trials that night, just as I had 9 months ago. This afforded both of us the opportunity to spend some time on the other side of the bar with Maddy and all of our other friends who came by to wish her well.

I decided to do some work for once and walked outside to clear some empty glasses and bottles. I approached the center of a couple groups sitting in front of the fire. The second I stepped in front of one particular group, a blonde girl gasped and exclaimed something to her friends along the lines of “Oh my god, … gorgeous!” I looked in her direction, smiled and walked back inside, aware that she hadn’t dropped her gaze the entire time.

I grinned at Maddy and Jess, Mike’s girlfriend, and told them what happened. Both got very excited, and asked if she was hot. I’ve been wrong on such occasions, so I asked them to do some recon for me. Maddy went out first, then Jess. Jess said that she was hot, Maddy thought that I could do better. Given my track record in this town, I was inclined to disagree.

As I was contemplating the next move, there was a sound of breaking glass outside and I grabbed the dustpan and brush. I walked outside to find that the broken glass was because of my not-so-secret admirer. I bent down next to her chair and started brushing up the glass. She started apologizing and said “Let me tell you what happened! My friend and I were talking about how well-dressed and gorgeous you are and we were wondering if you were gay?”

Oh for the love of …

I walked back inside and told Jess about what happened, who started cracking up with laughter. Garth came by and Jess told him the story. “Again?!”

Yeah. Again.



  1. dude, how many times does this have to happen before you either: 1) ask her why the hell she thinks your gay or 2) start being gay.

    are you walking around in rainbow patterned clothes or something?

  2. See what you need to do is use this to your advantage. You should tell the ladies that you are “most definitely gay… but, well ok. A little curious”, and do this while staring at said woman’s bosom.

    Only problem is if she tries to fix you up with Paul Hogan’s brother.

  3. Ok this is great!! I was reading a Health mag the other day and there was an article discussing a study done at some univeristy…anyway it studies personal smell and attraction. Lots of data related to divorce rates, some blind studies, etc. Pretty scientific and made overall sense…

    It then discussed Gaydar and ties to a persons smell. It seems there is some documented ties between odor and the infamous gardar…

    May I suggest either more or less cologne, bathing, or just going for it and take Noah’s advise – gosh that pains me to agree with Noah. JKing.

    Good luck out there,


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